


come steady me now

by EquusGirl (EquusGirl0621)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Parabatai Bond, Parabatai Feels, Protective Siblings, Season/Series 03, Sibling Love, Siblings, Spooning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:07:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25756351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EquusGirl0621/pseuds/EquusGirl
Summary: Maybe they don't always get it right but, Jace and Alec always try to be there for each other. And sometimes, sometimes they do get it right.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood & Isabelle Lightwood & Jace Wayland, Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland
Comments: 4
Kudos: 73





	come steady me now

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nadja_Lee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nadja_Lee/gifts).



> A small gift to Nadja_Lee for the _Hunter's Moon_ exchange. I hope you enjoy what I managed to create for them; I loved getting back to my favorite Parabatai pair for this fic. It's been an absolute age since I've written for _Shadowhunters_.
> 
> Title from Skillet's _Anchor_.

Alec followed the Parabatai bond to Jace’s room, his hands stinging like he’d stuck them in a nest of Kuri demons. He half expected to see blood dripping from his fingers when he raised his hand to knock on Jace’s door. 

No answer. He knocked harder, only just keeping himself from banging on the solid wood. “Jace?” Still no answer. Alec reached out through the bond, gently pushing at the edges of Jace’s presence. The bond burst open, a barrage of feelings rushing through, and through it all, Alec felt Jace reach out to him. Almost begging.

Alec unlocked Jace’s door with his stele, shoving it out of his way to get to the bathroom. Jace turned just as Alec stepped over the threshold, tears glistening on his face in the dim light. 

“I’m sorry,” Jace choked out.

“It’s alright.” Alec surveyed the room, glass crunching underfoot. The mirror was smashed and soap dripped down one of the walls, small pieces of glass stuck in the viscous substance. “It’s alright,” Alec said again, stepping closer to Jace. “Come here, let me see you."

Jace held out his hands, blood dripping from the tips of his fingers. Alec reached out to grip Jace's elbows, gently sliding his hands down to his wrists to get a better look. He swore under his breath at the multiple cuts and shards of glass jutting out in multiple places. 

“I’m sorry,” Jace said on a sob, his voice every bit as ragged as the flesh on his hands.

“You don’t need to apologize,” Alec said, wanting to pull his Parabatai into a hug but wary of causing him any more pain. “It’s okay.” So he settled for cupping the back of his head and leaning down to press his forehead to Jace’s. *It’s okay,* he thought, pushing all his love and comfort through their bond.

“Let’s get you cleaned up.” Alec slid his hand down to Jace’s shoulder, stepping back and nudging him towards the door. All the glass would need to be picked out before anyone could apply an Iratze. 

Jace allowed himself to be herded out of his bedroom and out into the hallway. Pulling the door firmly shut, Alec put a locking rune on the door to prevent anyone from discovering the mess within. The last thing he needed was someone asking questions. 

“Where are we going?” Jace croaked, sniffing as he tried to wipe his face without the use of his hands.

Alec pulled his cuff over his hand and dried the remaining tears from Jace's face for him. “The morgue. Izzy’ll have everything we need down there and it should be empty," he said, glancing down at his watch, nodding to himself before grimacing as he noticed blood on the floor. _Oh well, can’t control everything._ It was important to look after Jace first, he could deal with blood on the floor later. 

“I’m not dead yet,” Jace said, flashing a cocky grin as he flipped his hair out of his eyes. 

“Don’t. Please,” Alec whispered, setting off down the hall towards the stairwell. His greatest fear wasn't the demons they faced in the streets but the ones in Jace's head. 

"Hey," Jace murmured, gently bumping his shoulder against Alec's arm. "I'm not Celine; I promise.

Alec shot him a small smile. “I know.”

Finally, they made it to the morgue, managing to not pass anyone on the way by some miracle. Alec pushed open the door and stopped short as Isabelle looked up from behind a microscope. “Why are you still up?” 

She looked to the clock, swore, and turned back to Alec with a shrug. “Lost track of the time. More importantly, why are _you_ here?” Her eyes lit up in that way that only Izzy’s could and he knew the next words about to come out of her mouth before she even spoke. “Got a body for me?”

Alec rolled his eyes, though the suggestion of a smile tugged at his lips.

“Hey, Iz,” Jace said with a bright smile, waving one of his bloody hands.

Her smile softened as her gaze shifted to the blonde before they went wide, smile sliding off her face. “By the Angel, Jace; what the _fuck_?”

“Oh, you know. Just got in a fight with a mirror. No big.” Alec could _hear_ the shrug in Jace’s voice, see the look on his face so clearly in his mind even if his back was to him as he rummaged through Izzy's drawers.

Isabelle raised an eyebrow, returning her gaze to Alec. He shrugged, briefly raising his own hands. _Haven’t gotten that far yet._

She nodded and pushed up from her seat, several loud pops echoing around the room as she rolled her shoulders. “Come on, sit,” she said, pointing to an empty table and chair. “We’ll take care of you.” 

Jace’s smile softened, new tears glistening in his eyes. “Iz, you should get to bed.”

“He’s right,” Alec said, raising a pointed brow as he started setting down supplies. 

She shook her head, taking a pair of tweezers out of Alec’s hand and switching on the overhead exam lamp. “I’m fine right here.”

Alec knew better than to push her when she got that determined look on her face, so he nodded and settled on one side of Jace while Isabelle sat on the other. 

“By the Angel,” she whispered again, gently turning Jace’s hand over as she examined it. 

“I’m sorry,” Jace said, a ragged edge creeping back into his voice. Alec squeezed his bicep before taking a closer look at his hand. Thank the Angel, it seemed to look worse than he’d initially thought. 

“Why are you apologizing?” Her voice was tender without a trace of scorn as she bent closer to his hand and carefully pulled out a shard of glass. 

Jace hissed but kept still, never taking his eyes off her. “I’m keeping you up with my bullshit.” 

Isabelle scoffed, glancing up to give Jace a wry smile. “You really think I’d be sleeping right now?”

“Probably not,” he said, the corner of his mouth ticking up. 

“Besides, it's not ‘bullshit’,” she continued, glass plinking in the metal basin as she and Alec pulled out shard after shard. “You’re hurting, Jace; even I can see that.”

“Yeah, but—

“ _Furthermore_ ,” Isabelle said insistently, firmly cutting Jace off as she kept her eyes on her work. “You’d do it for me.”

Jace shifted uncomfortably, staring down at his lap. “But I’m your big brother. And you’re not my Parabatai.”

Alec broke in this time, looking up into Jace’s faces. They’d had enough conversations like this for Alec to know where Jace’s train of thought was heading. “I don’t do this because I’m your Parabatai, Jace. I do this because I love you. And that’s a choice I make every day.” In the periphery of his vision, Alec saw Isabelle silently nodding along.

Jace met Alec’s gaze, tears glistening in his mismatched eyes; he swallowed hard before looking back down at the table. “Thank you,” he croaked.

“Don’t mention it,” Isabelle said, shooting him one of her brilliant smiles that put the sun to shame. 

Alec and Isabelle continued carefully picking out the shards of glass, the steady _plink plink_ of them being dropped into the metal basins the only sound only the room. 

An alert _pinged_ on Alec’s phone but he ignored it for the time being. If he was truly needed they’d—his ringtone echoed loudly off the bare walls and metal tables.

“I’ll take care of it,” Isabelle said, stripping off her gloves and grabbing up his phone before Alec could even pretend to protest. 

“Thanks, Iz,” Alec said, giving his sister a grateful smile. The last thing he wanted to do was leave Jace and she was more than capable of handling any situation the world could throw at them.

She just smiled and ruffled his and Jace’s hair in turn on her way out with a triumphant chuckle. “Alec Lightwood’s phone,” she said, pushing past the door. 

Alec grumbled under his breath, narrowing his eyes at her back before she disappeared. 

“Turnabout’s fair play,” Jace said with a fond smile, nudging Alec’s knee with his own. 

“Hey, who’s side are you on?” Alec asked with mock offense, a corner of his mouth turning up. 

“No one’s. Jace Herondale is neutral in the ongoing war between Alec and Isabelle.” 

Alec smiled at that, continually grateful that Jace always refused to take sides between him and their sister, even with small, insignificant shit like hair mussing. 

It was one of the many things he loved about his Parabatai. 

The two men sat and stared at each other for a few moments before Alec returned to Jace’s hands. He gently probed the flesh of both, looking for any pieces he might have missed before performing a quick scan to confirm. 

“All good?” Jace said, turning his hands over and back again as he looked down at them.

“All good,” Alec said, pulling out his stele and pushing up Jace’s shirt to activate his _Iratze_ , pouring all his love and care into the action. He watched as every laceration closed itself, turning from angry red to pink to white before disappearing completely. Alec let out a small sigh, tension releasing the muscles in his shoulders and neck. He brushed the tips of his fingers across Jace's Parabatai rune, his eyes lingering on the black mark for a few moments before he let the hem of Jace's shirt fall back into place. 

Jace flexed his fingers and rolled his wrists before smiling up at Alec. “Thank you,” he murmured, pulling Alec into a proper hug as he pushed up on his toes to bury his face in Alec’s neck. 

Alec wrapped his arms around Jace, holding him tight against his chest. Closing his eyes, he focused on the rise and fall of Jace’s chest, his breath tickling the skin of his neck, the feeling of him warm and alive in his arms. 

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” Jace whispered against his skin and Alec felt his guilt seep through the bond.

“I’m not—you didn’t—I” Alec struggled for words, trying to assuage the guilt and deny his feelings at the same time.

“Funny how you always seem to forget the bond goes both ways,” Jace said, a touch of wry humor in his voice. 

Alec sighed, resting his cheek against Jace’s hair. _Busted_.“I’m worried about you.”

Jace smoothed a hand up and down Alec’s back. “I’ll be okay. It’s just...going to take some adjusting.”

“You can talk to me. And Iz.”

“I know.” Jace inhaled deeply, holding the breath before exhaling in a big gust. “It’s not always that easy though.”

Alec squeezed him impossibly tighter for a moment, returning his focus to the weight of his Parabatai in his arms. “I’ll be here when you’re ready,” he murmured finally, running a hand over the back of Jace’s head. 

“Thank you,” Jace said, nuzzling Alec’s neck and inhaling deeply. 

Eventually, Alec pulled back, letting Jace go but keeping a hold on one of his hands. “I don’t know about you, but I’m fucking tired,” he said, scrubbing a hand over his face. Opening himself up to their bond, Alec could feel Jace’s own exhaustion, separate and distinct from his own. “Bed?” 

Jace grinned, pulling Alec towards the exit. “Bed.”

Returning the smile, Alec led them to his own room with promises to take care of Jace’s room in the morning. Both men started stripping out of their clothes as soon as the door closed, kicking off boots and leaving articles of clothing littered around the room before they shared the bathroom, working effortlessly around one another as they went through their nightly routine. 

Jace finally spoke up after they'd finally settled into bed. “Hey Alec,” he whispered conspiratorily from his place at Alec’s back, his arm wrapped around Alec’s waist and leg thrown over his hip. 

“Go to sleep, Jace,” Alec sighed, resisting the urge to roll his eyes as he burrowed back further into Jace’s chest. 

Jace nudged him playfully, a smile in his voice as he nuzzled the back of Alec’s neck. “You don’t even know what I’m going to say.”

Alec couldn’t resist the smile pulling at his lips. “What are you going to say?” 

“I love you.”

The love pouring through their bond only added to the warmth blooming in Alec’s chest. “I love you, too,” he said, pulling Jace’s hand to his lips and kissing his knuckles before holding the hand to his chest. 

Jace pressed a kiss to the nape of Alec’s neck, lips moving against his skin as he whispered, “Goodnight, Alec.”

“Goodnight, Jace.” Alec held tight to Jace’s hand as he closed his eyes, rubbing his thumb over the Lightwood ring on his finger.


End file.
